Maria's blog

Failure

To pick one failure story is quite a task.  I can think of countless times that I lost my cool in the classroom, said things I shouldn’t have said, gave up too soon, and didn’t hold up my end of the “bargain” with my students.  What I want to focus on, and the thing that bothers me most, is the fact that there are students I let fall through the cracks.  I like to think that I have a keen eye for everything that is going on in my classroom.  I’m good at mediating fights, helping students who are struggling and ask for help, challenging the smartest and hardest-working students, getting students with disruptive behavior on task, and keeping the mood in my classroom one of hard work.  However, there’s a certain sort of student that I just keep missing.  The student I miss is well-behaved, quiet, and appears to be on-task.  This student appears to work well in groups, and never asks me any questions about concepts, or asks to check his or her work against the answer key.  This is not the student that I have to send away from my desk during a test because he or she really, really, really, just needs one quick reminder please, please, please!  Sadly, at the end of the day, after all the chaos, if you asked me if this student was present in my third period class, I would have to think hard before I could give you an answer.  Even more sad, is that this student is probably not getting most of the answers right, and will just barely pass my class, mostly by merit of completing all the work.  In the middle of a long, often crazy day where I have to take care of any disciplinary issues, help the students who are constantly asking questions, and make sure my top test-performers are staying sharp, these students get forgotten.  When I imagine their parents sending them to school, hoping to give them a good education, I become extremely sad and disappointed in myself.  I am absolutely failing these students.  They are well-behaved, perform in the lower 25% of my students, and absolutely need my help.  There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to assess every single student and provide feedback for them in a timely matter.  However, no matter how many times I remind myself, they keep slipping through the cracks.  It’s like that dream where it’s the end of the school year, you’re a student, and you realize that you’ve been missing a class all year long.  Well, for me, it was the end of the school year, these students were barely passing my class, and I realized that I’ve been ignoring them all year.  When I’m perfectly honest with myself, I realize that these students probably aren’t prepared for ninth grade math, and it’s 100% my fault.  

Success

The biggest successes throughout the year were individual students whose progress was the result of hard work on their part coupled with my guidance.  I can think of three students in particular who were struggling in math from the beginning of the year, but who made it known to me that they were going to give their best effort to try to improve.  I cannot stress enough how much of a difference it made to stay after school and tutor students one-on-one.  Some students are so far behind that trying to catch up in the classroom with lots of other students (and therefore lots of other distractions!) was not going to happen.  With a 45-minute commute home, the absolute last thing that I wanted to do at the end of the day was stay for more school.  Even if I stayed over just thirty minutes after the normal time I left from school, I would be getting home around 5, leaving me four hours to go to the gym, cook and eat dinner, blog, and plan for the next day.  However, every time that I did stay after school, I was immediately reminded why it’s always worth it to stay.  It’s so rare that a student is willing to stay after school, so when they are putting the time in, I try to remind myself that it’s my responsibility to do the same.  It’s in those short, individual interactions that one gets to experience the magical teacher moment of witnessing a student move from point a to point b.  “I don’t get this,” begins to become, “Oh, this is so easy!”.  I don’t think there’s an experience more rewarding in this job.  

The other thing that I would consider a “success” in my school experience, which actually didn’t expect to care about, is the growth in the students’ standardized test scores.  My students outperformed every other math class in the school, and I was very proud of myself for this achievement, especially since some of the other math teachers have been teaching for years, and this is my first try!  I must be doing something right if my students can do comparatively better on their tests.  After a year of wondering whether or not anything I was doing was actually having a positive impact, I finally had a number that said, “You’re doing it right!”.  I know that my hours spent after school tutoring students made a huge difference in their scores, and I hope with my new 15-minute commute I’ll be inspired to put in even more time!

3 skills

What three “teacher skills” do you want to practice during MTC summer school? Why?

Skill 1: Professionalism

Okay, don’t get me wrong. I am not “unprofessional” in most ways at school. However, the one piece of advice from the first summer that I ended up totally steamrolling was, “Never be sarcastic.” I am very sarcastic, all day, every day in my classroom. When the kids are making me angry, complaining about things they shouldn’t be complaining about, asking to go to the restroom, repeating questions I already answered with a “no”, writing on things I told them not to write on, or talking when I am talking, I immediately and mercilessly put the verbal freeze on them. Unfortunately, I have come to rely on my verbal zings to manage my classroom. They are more effective than any other type of discipline I have tried, and that’s unfortunate. Hopefully, I can get out of my bad practices and be a more professional, adult role model for them.

Skill 2: Organization

In teaching, one can never be too organized. Any and all organizational practices can only be an asset to one’s classroom and instruction. I am planning on trying out a folder system this summer to see if it can be applicable for my classroom. I also want all of my handouts, lesson plans, and tests to be in the same big, glorious binder. I want there to be grease on all the proverbial wheels every day, with the only possible upsets to occur as behavior outbursts.

Skill 3: Teacher Talk

One thing that I improved on last summer was limiting the amount of time I was blabbing at the front of the classroom. This school year, I think I became afraid that if I stopped talking, they would start. This probably wasn’t even true, and now that I “know what I am doing”, I can use my time in the classroom this summer to hone my being-quiet skills. I think I just talked too much, in general (see skill 1) and would benefit from some mouth shutting.

Year 1

Reflect on your first year of teaching. What went well? What do you need to improve?

The one thing that I definitely did well this year is my efforts to form relationships with my students. I feel like I have a good relationship with all of them, and an excellent relationship with a few of them. Yes, I was not the most strict teacher, and I didn’t always handle discipline problems swiftly or correctly. However, I was absolutely approachable and the students trusted me in various ways. Mostly, I noticed that they trusted my answers and my intellect. As the year wore on, they stopped challenging my math skills, which I greatly appreciated. Without warning, the girls started asking me to braid their hair, too. Some days, I would have a constant stream of girls showing up during my planning period asking for french-braided pigtails.

I also think my teaching methodology was successful. I definitely got stuck in a rut for a while, but the kids seemed to remember almost everything I taught them and eventually could look at a problem without explicit instructions (ie. a right triangle with a missing side, but no directions that say, “Use the Pythagorean Theorem.”) and know how to solve it. We’ll see how things fall out when we receive our test scores from this year’s tests, but I feel like I did a good job. According to the practice tests, my students performed better than any other math students in the school. Hopefully, this will help their confidence and inspire them to perform better from now on.

As the year winds down, I am already thinking about the best way to start off next year. Preparing over the summer wasn’t explicitly explained to me and having a “plan of attack” is so important. This summer, I plan on mapping out the curriculum (something I should have done last summer), and organizing all of my sample test questions by objective. Having an organized curriculum and organized curriculum materials (I have a binder full of handouts set up already) is as important as having an organized classroom. Speaking of which, I am already concocting organizational systems for next year. Disorganization creeps in in the slightest and least expected ways, but if I had combatted it better this year I would have avoided many classroom problems.

Additionally, though I was not the worst disciplinarian last year, I need to put it in overdrive. Ms. Hill, Mr. Funt, and I are planning on making a disciplinary system that will be identical in all of our classrooms. Any “strict” discipline system is met with much resistance at our school, but if it is in 3/5 classrooms, we hope the resistance will break down sooner.

I am using my students' song lyrics as a free-write

At the end of last week I made a decision that was either going to ruin my week or make it:  On Friday, I was going to sing to my students.  And play the guitar.  Like a crazy hippie art teacher that wears caftans and african beaded jewelry.  Every time I go to the gym, I listen to the pop song lyrics on my headphones and try to insert math lyrics.  A well-done parody is one of my favorite things.  About a year ago I made a video about our senior professor at school, Eva Brann, yes like Hitler's girlfriend's name, being the host of a reality show entitled "Eva Brann's My New BFF."  The concept wasn't mine but the script and production were and I was so damn proud of that that I could cry.  Yes, I am pretty silly.  Anyway, I was convinced that the best song would be "I said you can find the slope of a line!" to the tune of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.  Instead, it hit me during third period on Thursday that the BEST POSSIBLE SONG was to the tune of "Bedrock" by Young Money, which they sing at school every single day.  Thus, my song was born:

"Ooh, baby, this formula will stick like glue, baby, y equals m x plus b, baby, the slope's in the m spot, call me y-intercept, I can make your b rock!"  

Thursday night, I learned the guitar chords and on Friday I taught it to them on one condition: they had to make songs, too!  Well, thankfully, they LOVED it and I even got a few kind "You should go on American Idol!" comments that were sweet but uh... way off base.  I adored some of the songs they came up with, too, so here are a few:

To the tune of "You Are Not Alone" by Michael Jackson:

"Y is not alone/ It equals m x plus b/  M is the slope/ And b is the y-intercept/ yes b is the y-intercept/ and slope is rise over run/ so remember this equation/ and you will get this right on the test/ yes you will get this right on the *teeeeesssssst* (with flourish)"

To the tune of "Pretty Boy Swag" by Soulja Boy

"This right here is my slope. Y equals m x plus b.  M is the slope, pay attention.  B is the inter-cept swag, inter-cept swag, slope is the rise of my intercept swag."

To the tune of "Flex" by Party Boyz

Hands on your head while you try to graph the slope, wrote down the point when you first hit the door, m is the slope, and b is the intercept, put it all together and get y=mx+b, the slope is the rise over the run, then hit 'em with the slope again and then we'll be done, hit em with the slope hit em with the slope hit em with the slope and they'll be beggin for some more

To the tune of "Baby" by Justin Bieber

You know that y equals, m x plus b, it's the slope of a line now, it's so easy! M is my slope, rise over run, b is my y-intercept, ain't it so fun?  And now we slopin', slopin', slopin' ooooh, we slopin', slopin', slopin', oooh,  slopin', slopin', slopin', oooh, y equals m x plus b.... eeeee, slopin', slopin', slopin' ooooh, we slopin', slopin', slopin', oooh,  slopin', slopin', slopin', oooh, slope is the rise over runn... uh huuuuh.

Dude.... I think they beat me.

Something that does not make me miserable

ichat with hayley:

Me:I laughed so hard at your bluetooth comment on your blog. that was so perfect

Hayley: haha   

              TFA is a giant bluetooth

so sage.

Exit Exams

(This is a response to the article, “As School Exit Tests Prove Tough, States Ease Standards,” found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/12/education/12exit.html)

I found this article on high school exit exams extremely confusing, so I tried to pull out a few facts.  The federal government is pushing for states to have final exams as a requirement for passing courses (and passing high school), but the states create these exams, making the standards disparate.  

I'll finish this blog later when I am not miserable.

What Makes Great Teachers?

(This is a response to the article, “What Makes a Great Teacher?” in The Atlantic, located here: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/201001/good-teaching)

 To be perfectly honest, reading this article made me feel like crap.  Reading about the “gritty,” undying perseverance with which successful teachers approach their classrooms only made me reflect unhappily about how worn-down and eventually worn-out I have become at my school.  However, it is good to know that there are specific procedures that I could implement that would make me more likely to improve my students’ test scores.  At this point, I could go on a long journey through how I feel and felt about test scores, but as one of the interviewees in the article pointed out, we need a solid measuring stick.  My students need to do better on the state tests.  If their individual scores don’t go up, the school’s collective scores won’t go up and the school will continue to flounder.  My school is definitely floundering, and it’s a strange paradox that the only way to move away from test-centric thinking is... to raise test scores.  Thus, my goal is to raise test scores.  Okay, back to the practices of “Great Teachers.”  The article identifies six of them:

1. Setting big goals
2. Perpetually looking for ways to improve their effectiveness, reevaluating current practices
3. Avidly recruiting students and their families into the process
4. Maintaining focus (in the classroom, it seems)
5. Exhaustively planning, “backward from the desired outcome.” (Starting from the objectives and frameworks on the state exam and making lessons that teach to those objectives.)
6. Working relentlessly, and refusing to surrender to poverty, bureaucracy, and bugetary limits.

I see all of these in place in the teachers in Teacher Corps that I admire and from whom I have adopted practices.  I am having trouble sorting out the difference between good teaching practices in high-poverty areas and good teaching practices in general.  Maybe I shouldn’t be making this distinction, but I am remembering the great teachers I had in high school.  Granted, I went to school in one of the top public school systems in the country.  However, the teachers that inspired me to be a teacher did not “avidly recruit” the students and parents into “the process.”  As far as I knew, there was no “process” insofar as it exists in our Mississippi schools.  The “process” in my school is the process of making every single student aware of the format and objectives required to pass the state assessment.  If there was a process at my high school, it was the process of becoming voracious learners, or the process of instilling a thirst for knowledge.  I feel like I am fighting such an uphill battle at my school, that zeal, enthusiasm, and relentless work are almost impossible.  (And by the way, does the article actually mean “relentless”? That’s pretty... extreme. It's when I start reading articles and listening to speeches that use these types of words that I start fantasizing about a world where someone, one day, at my school, thanks me for the work that I put in, even though I relent, eventually.)

Join MTC

As I've been reading the blogs of my fellow MTC participants, I've read a lot that I agree with in terms of reasons to join and reasons not to join. So, if you’re a prospective MTC participant, I suggest that you read as many of the Join/ Don’t Join posts as you can.  So, reasons to join:

~Let’s be honest here: it’s a great deal.  You get a free master’s degree. You (might?) get a nice laptop, housing and a bunch of meals over the summer, guaranteed job placement, and a salary.  For most applicants, this is coming very shortly after graduating from college.  Most of my friends are desperately trying to find jobs and even with their degrees are not able to do much else than work at coffee shops or retail stores.  I have a pretty well-furnished apartment right outside of Memphis (OK, you might be in the Delta, but still) and I spend my free time hanging out in my incredibly low-rent place with my cats and my fiance.  I am much better off than I would be if I decided MTC was too difficult and just continued to sell clothes for a living.  My life, on paper, looks pretty much like a *gulp* adult.  Which might be a good thing.

~There are some days that are incredibly rewarding.  When my administration takes a moment to note that I actually am doing a good job compared to some other members of the faculty, it feels good.  When my students tell me that they’re learning more about math this year than they ever did, it feels great.  When I can help a student who is struggling and get him from point A to point B so that he came in my door with no clue what a protractor is and he leaves able to measure angles, that’s the best.  For each of these good moments, there are fifty bad ones, but there are definite times when I feel like I am seeing an output for all my input.

~I speak only for myself here, but I feel more calm and grounded than I ever have.  Some days I am not sure if it’s levelheadedness or apathy, but I am pretty sure that I am finally able to let petty problems go.  This is mostly because I have no time to see petty problems, so I mostly don’t see them at all.  If you are able to lead a life as an MTC participant where your school, the work you do at home, and the work you do for MTC are only one part of it, and maintain connections and interests outside of your workday, everything is going to be just fine.  When my administration is being absolutely ridiculous, I don’t get upset about it.  I come home and either forget about it completely and just try to control what I am able to, or I have a good laugh about it- because it IS ridiculous.  And ridiculous things are funny.  I met up with a former MTC participant over winter break, and we spent most of the time laughing about how crazy this place can be, and swapping  hilarious anecdotes.  Seriously- these kids, this place, the whole school system, can be a riot.  Don’t take yourself too seriously, and you’ll come out a steadier and happier person.

Semester Reflection

I am feeling quite triumphant about the fact that this semester is almost over. My classroom is already very different from the way it was in the beginning of the year, for good and bad reasons.  I think the students are either giving me less trouble on a given day than they would before, but the trouble they're giving me is more ... annoying.  I wish I didn't know their idiosyncrasies so well.  The little, "Ma' LUNFA MAKE HIM STOP TAPPING HIS FOOT ON MY DESK"s that happen every day are really getting on my nerves. I do think I have a good rapport with them now, which is great.  Dr. Monroe said early on in the Summer that we wanted the students to "not fear you, but fear disappointing you."  I feel like this is finally the case in my classroom and that makes me really happy.

I am very afraid that a lot of my students will fail the final exam for the semester.  Their performance on tests has steadily slipped since the beginning of the year.  There are also some students that at this point I feel I have "let go of" in some ways.  These students are very far behind and came into the class too late to get the review of the basics that I covered in the first few weeks of the year.  If I wanted to bring these students (there are usually one or two in each class) up to speed, we would have to teach them division and not... graphing quadratics.  Attendance is terrible at the school and it's becoming a huge problem.  Often, my planning period simply does not happen and none of these students will stay after class for tutoring no matter how much I remind them and their parents.  Most of my students don't make up their work that they miss and my lesson's don't come out of a textbook so unless they come to see me they won't be catching up.  Add into this the students that are not quite so far behind, but would like me to stay by their desks and help them one-on-one for more than half the class if I could.  I used to give a lot of individual attention to these students but I've stopped doing so because I realized that I need to give more attention to other students who might not necessarily ask me for my help.

A big problem that I am facing is making my lessons different from day to day and making them more engaging.  I've pretty much stopped even trying to do sets with my classes and the construction paper has stayed in the closet for weeks now.  More creative lessons would help them feel less burned out, too. 

All in all, I think this semester went well.  I will reserve final judgment until I see their performance on the semester exams.  However, I think they are TRYING to pass my class and most of them want to do what I say and want to pass my class.  I've learned a lot about how to communicate with students and effective ways to get students back on task.  This is a great accomplishment, and I'm working on the rest of it.